Who do we trust the most? Surveys reveal that personal trainers rate right up there with hairdressers, psychologists and doctors. I know I tend to divulge a lot of personal information, particularly when I am exhausted and irrational or even when I’m pumped up and motivated. Let’s face it, not only do we pay our trainers to bully us but they are also our friend, confidant, therapist, cheerleader, philosopher, career counsellor and legal advisor.

By minute 18 of my session with my puffy red face and complete lack of finesse my dignity and decorum are thrown out the window as I reveal my weak spots to Fur Face, the vulnerability makes us seem very connected. I swear he was trained at the ASIO academy as he gives no facial expression away to indicate how crazy I sound and he seems to accept me completely for who I am.

However, as close as I am to Fur Face, I still can’t quite bring myself to ask some really burning questions and thoughts which constantly linger as I plonk along gasping for breath on the treadmill while he calmly dishes out instructions beside me while his finger seems to get stuck on the incline button …

Can he design a workout where I don’t lose weight from my boobs?
What does he mean I can’t eat dark chocolate – its “healthy”
Can he find a way to burn the fat off my chin PLEASE
When will I be allowed to eat cake?
I have a cocktail party in a month – I need to look really good, can he make that happen?
Why does my bum wobble when I walk?
Wouldn’t it be faster if I just got liposuction?
If he makes me do one more burpee I’m going to vomit
Does he notice that the more pain he inflicts and the more dirty looks I give him, the more he seems to smirk? Is he a sadist?
I really want to shout out that C word that he hates ….CAN’T CAN’T CAN’T CAN’T
But as the oxygen slowly returns to my body reality hits and I remember it’s for my own good and there is no way I could do it on my own …. so uncharacteristically I shut up and get on with it!

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