Each January 1st we wake up with an unrealistic set of New Year’s resolutions centred around dieting and exercise freshly imprinted in our minds. Which fad diet are we going to follow? Which food group we will cut out? How many hours will we vow to spend on the treadmill to get to the elusive weight that we are told we should be at in under 4 weeks?
This year let’s be serious. Why bother with New Year’s resolutions again – I may as well save myself the humiliation when, by February 22nd I haven’t morphed into Chloe Kardashian (I think she’s the underrated one).
Not for me – this year I have decided on some more realistic challenges for this middle-aged, overweight single mum – casual promises that I am under no legal obligation to fulfil.
1. When Nurse has declared that she has “had enough” in the daily 6.30am class (usually around 6.48am) – that she leave the class immediately and bring back the coffee order so we can inhale at exactly 7.01am (she can lunge all the way to the coffee shop to keep her heart rate high)
2. To secretly time the HIIT intervals in the Wednesday class that Adonis takes. I have never seen him even glance sideways at his watch while he struts around increasing everyone’s levels on the cardio machines. Only when we are on the brink of collapse will he shout – “3, 2, anddddddddd 1” to end the
longest 90 seconds ever endured by humankind.
3. That Princess not be allowed to move her mat in front of the mirrors when doing core work to critique her physique and improve her technique. I think it is our duty to prepare her now at the height of her youth and beauty so later in life she isn’t in the habit of looking for problems that you can’t fix (not without surgery!)
4. Bet the Old Fart $1,000,000 that he can’t successfully send me an email with an attachment without asking for help.
5. To persuade Little Miss Chatterbox who is still languishing in the honeymoon period six months after hook up (unheard of) to consistently leave her cosy bed and lover in the mornings so that she can build the stamina required to be my running partner for the Gold Coast Marathon in July– so when I collapse she will be
strong enough to drag me across the finishing line.
6. Challenge Fur Face to be as loud as Adonis for 1 whole day – shout out to clients, laugh outrageously at bad jokes and grunt like a caveman when pretending to work his biceps.
7. Start a club for single, fit people for the exclusive purpose of meal prepping, squatting and drinking Kombucha.
I think that should do it – very achievable and satisfying.
Oh, and did I mention that I’m trying to eat more unprocessed foods – no sneaky Coke Zero or low carb chocolate bars? I know, my excuses for emotional eating are more complicated than Facebook privacy settings but I’m feeling optimistic about 2019 – bring it!
As I reflect back on 2018 it’s so easy to get caught up in the negative emotions surrounding my failure to achieve the number I desperately wanted to see on the scale. I guess that’s the point of this blog – I’m a normal person experiencing all of life’s ups and downs.
I feel passionate about sharing my experiences with you because exercising with my support network from the 6.30am class every morning has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not just physically, but mentally.
Thanks to Adonis and Fur Face I have been taught what it means to be healthy by making simple, small, achievable everyday lifestyle changes. They never fail to keep me accountable to my goals and embrace my imperfections – not only the visible ones!
When I first started losing weight, it was 100% about the scale because at 135kgs I needed that number to go down to see progress. But if anything, 2018 has taught me to own my journey and not beat myself up for not being farther along than I wanted.
I am constantly reminded by Adonis and Fur Face that this is not a diet – it’s a healthy lifestyle, and when I reflect at how far I’ve come in those terms, I have to smile.