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Day 102

A strange thing has happened these school holidays – tiny, devious creatures got into my wardrobe and made my clothes smaller. I had assumed that the golden holiday rule had applied – that if no one saw me eat it then it has no calories. In addition, I defiantly believed that tasting the kids food shouldn’t count towards my macros.
These past few weeks I’ve struggled to find any routine or logic around my food choices. Every day started off the same – determined and focused. But a mere few hours later, and any semblance of rationality had dissipated. “Tomorrow I’ll do better”, I kept saying to myself.
There could be plenty of legitimate underlying reasons for my self-sabotage, like hormone imbalance.
But if I want to be completely honest about the last 30kgs that I have been struggling to lose … it boils down to this.
Huge, Long-Term Results Require Uncomfortable Actions
Getting positive results will require me to get outside my comfort zone. The reason I am not losing weight right now is because of the actions I am presently taking.
If all we needed to make massive health changes was more information, there’d be a lot more healthy people walking around.
The reality is knowledge is not enough.
I can Google almost anything and find an instant answer – how many carbs in an acai bowl? When is the best time of day to eat protein?
But why is it so hard for me to stop turning to food when I’m stressed, sad, angry and insecure? Why do I binge eat? Why do I have no self-respect when it comes to shoving copious amounts of processed food down my throat?
I have to face facts …
If I Don’t Get My Head Right, I Won’t Eat Right
My brain is always waiting to trick me.
• What’s the point I have so much to lose?
• I have always been overweight, it’s genetic just accept it
• Nobody is looking at me I’m ugly, so why bother
• People are staring at me – I haven’t made any noticeable progress it’s too slow
• It’s all or nothing – I ate something at lunch at a café that I couldn’t work out the macros to track, so what is the point of continuing?
• I’ll start tomorrow … I need this food right now to comfort me
And it goes on and on. My brain creates endless valid reasons to give up on healthy habits that I know I can easily incorporate into my daily routine. I know what to eat and when to eat it – it’s not rocket science.
I just can’t seem to do it.
I need to be brave and change my actions – I need to get uncomfortable and delve into the reasons behind why I binge.
You can see how my current twisted thoughts drive my actions …
Healthy Eating = pointless suffering
Binging = comfort zone
What if I saw healthy choices as the way to get the results I so desperately want, and the binging as the landmine sabotaging my goal?
Healthy Eating = accomplishment, happiness, peace
Binging = sabotage
If my thoughts change, surely my actions will change and results will follow.
One things for sure, nothing will change if nothing changes.

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