BLOG DAY 240 – Every year a few months before my birthday I stare at the calendar in disbelief – how could I have let another year fly by without reaching my goal? Where did the time go? Why did I waste it?
Disclaimer – I am an expert in setting potential goals. I will set them first thing in the morning for the day, I will set them for the month and even the year. Great plan Dana well done, take a break after all your hard work!
Another disclaimer – It’s much easier for me to SET GOALS than to actually achieve them. I love thinking about all the things I am going to do … eventually.
Does it all come down to motivation for me? Do I have trouble keeping the fire lit? Absolutely not – I am one of the lucky ones who has a personal trainer (actually a whole team of them – McSweaty, Fur Face and Adonis) to keep me accountable, to keep me motivated and to support me physically and emotionally.
I know that smashing my goals will be worth it, I am also a realist and know it won’t be quick or easy.
So where am I going wrong?
Is there a disconnect between the effort I put in and my goals? I think not – two sweaty sessions a day most days, I love my time at the studio and the Empower community that meets after our group classes each morning for coffee and Saturday breakfast to laugh, cry, support and inspire each other.
My efforts reflect my motivation – there is no gap there. (OK – maybe a tiny weeny one when I cheat on a squat hold while Adonis is checking out his receding hairline in the mirror, or going super slow on mountain climbers when McSweaty is pre-occupied obsessing about someone else’s form!)
So frustrating … how can I fight a demon I can’t see?
I was starting to think that I don’t have a strong enough WHY?
That was until last Saturday night, when my youngest son was admitted to the Sydney Children’s Hospital. I was told that he had a suspected brain tumour and needed a dangerous operation. I was exhausted both emotionally and physically (state of the art medical equipment does not extend to the red parent couches to sleep on which were re-possessed from a Viking village). Over the next few long, confusing days I was comforted by strangers whose children were really, really sick with no long-term prospects of recovery. (The child in the bed opposite had been in the hospital for 8 years and still didn’t have a diagnosis). These amazing human beings always had a smile on their face and remained positive even though their world was collapsing around them. They didn’t question why or bother wasting time complaining, they just enjoyed the here and now – making sure the present was the best it could be. It was a sobering and humbling experience.
Miraculously, we walked out a week later symptom free, tired and drained but so grateful to return to our ‘normal’.
And the silver lining? A light bulb moment for me on my weight-loss journey. The discontent and frustration that I feel is entirely my creation.
I need to take a leaf from Buddhas tree … DO NOT DWELL IN THE PAST, DO NOT DREAM OF THE FUTURE, CONCENTRATE THE MIND ON THE PRESENT MOMENT.